It was about 2:30am on a Thursday night. I was taking care of a couple customers when a man entered the store. It was amazing that he managed to stay on his feet at all. I was withholding a slight chuckle as I'm hoping to watch him fall flat on his face. I turn my head for a moment as I began bagging one of my regular's items. I finish with the customer and look back toward the drunk. I didn't see him. I took a look at the monitor connected to the camera watching the back isle, and he was nowhere to be found. I take a few steps along the walkway behind the counter until I could see into the second isle, the only one I didn't have a view of at the time. When I look down it, the guy was, for the most part, crawling. He grabbed some Twizzlers from the one side of the isle, crawled to the other, grabbed a bag of Combos, the crawled to the counter. He tossed the items up, I rang and bagged them, and told him his total. He slapped a five 5$ bill onto the counter saying, "Keep the change." I handed him down his bag, and he crawled out the door. I just shook my head at what I just saw, pocketed the change, and leaned against that back counter. I would have followed him outside, but I had another customer. The customer, who finally came up to the counter, asked me, "How the hell could you keep a straight face?"
"I've seen worse"